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How was it?
Good.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Is ok needs work
100%
 100%  [ 1 ]
Sucks
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Does it matter?
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 1

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Fatalcrash
Lost Soul
Lost Soul


Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 24


Location: Singapore, just left of Britain, and make sure you take a right at the north pole.

PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:38 pm    Post subject: You mean like this? Reply with quote

Alex keeps his hand on the Barrett rifle as the target approaches. Silent whispers and lost thoughts wander though his mind, fragments of his forgotten past. Peering though the scopes, he sees the club where his target, 19-year old Maximilian Donovan, the heir to the Donovan Electronics family fortune, is due to turn up. Ten meters of red carpet to walk before he steps into the safety of tinted windows, blinds, and writhing silhouettes. Alex toys with the idea of double checking the time his target is supposed to arrive with the PDA hooked onto his belt, but dismisses it as he sees a motorcade approach. All background noise, all other things outside his sniper scope fade away. He tightens his grip on the trigger, aiming directly outside the door of Max’s limo. A man steps out, bald and badass. Obviously a bodyguard, he steps over to the next door and opens it. Alex tenses, ready for the kill. All he can hear is his heart pounding.

Max climbs out of his limo, dressed smartly in the latest fashions. Sporting an expensive suit, the heir looks more suited to a ballroom dance than a private band performance. “Odd clothes to wear to a nightclub,” thinks Alex. The boy looks around, red hair shaking back and forth. Alex quickly removes his finger from the Barrett. Keying his headset, Alex quickly issued orders to his partner. “Scott, stand down. This guy’s a decoy.”

“Roger that, Crash.” comes the reply. “Holding fire.”

Alex looks though the scope again, spotting the slight tinge of brown peeking out from underneath the decoy’s wig. “Nice one,” thinks Alex. The fake Max enters the club, leaving a group of three burly looking bodyguards outside.

Alex keys his mike again. “Scott, stay here, watch for the target. I’m going over to the other side, just in case he tries to sneak in from the front door.”

“Want me to come over with you?”

“No, it’s okay. We can’t afford to miss him. Let me know when if you spot him, understand?”

“Roger that, Crash. Gonna be lonely sitting here. Let me know if you see him, you hear?”

Alex smiles to himself. Picking up his trademark backpack and his Barrett, he picks along the edge of the rooftops until he comes into clear view of the club’s back door. Dumpsters and graffiti line the walls, and a single cat digs for scraps in a rubbish bin. More interesting are the men there. Six of them, all carrying concealed weapons in their coats, judging from the bulges there. “Looks like Max means business.” Alex thinks. An idea pops into his mind, and he sneaks off.

************

“Damn, stupid weather,” complains a bodyguard, rubbing his hands together. He was alone on patrol, shuffling though damp alleys. “Stupid weather. Stupid kid.” he mutters. Alex sneaked up behind him, combat knife in hand. One quick cut across the throat downed the guard. “One down,” says Alex. Putting on the dead guard’s uniform, he strolls over to where the other bodyguards were.

“Where’s Vinnie?” asks one of the bodyguards. He peers at Alex’s face through the shadows. Without missing a step, Alex pulls out two Desert Eagles and shoots him, point blank, in the face. The bodyguard twitches violently and pitches backward, a star of blood spraying the wall behind him. Alex turns around, nailing the last four bodyguards as they attempt to pull their weapons out. They collapse on the floor, eyes wide open and faces frozen in a twisted grimace.

“Hmm.” murmurs Alex, starting to drag the bodies and pilling them into the dumpster.

His headset crackles. “Chief, you all right? I heard guns.” Scott. Probably falling asleep at his post.

“I’m fine.” says Alex. “Keep at your position, and snipe the rest of those gorillas before they get to me. Get ready to clear out, too. Cops will be here in moments.”

A trio of shots pierces the air. “Gorillas? I don’t know what you’re talking about, Crash.” Alex didn’t answer. A SUV has just stopped at the entrance to the alley. Maximilian Donovan gets out confidently, sure that his ruse has worked. Smoothing down a shirt, he strides over to his would-be assassin.

“Where are the others?” he asks in an upper class drawl.

Alex smiles.
---------------------------------

Is this correct? I've never done a roleplay before, so I'm kinda new to this.
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Demecas
Kitten
Kitten


Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 754


Location: That little voice in the back of your head telling you to kill people.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not bad could still use some work. but much better.

it comes with time. and we will just give suggestions. the hard part is always explaining what your imagination is doing. trust me I understand how frustrating it is. of course even what I do still needs a lot of work so if you think I'm being hard on you. don't worry to much I tend to be hard on everyone and myself the hardest.



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