BlackBlade
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How to fly by HHGTTGThe Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of flying:
Please don't try this at home!!!
There is an art, it says, or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Pick a nice day, it suggests, and try it. The first part is easy. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt. That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground.
Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard. Clearly, it's the second point, the missing, which presents the difficulties. One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.It is notoriously difficult to prise your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport. If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner. This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration. Bob and float, float and bob. Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher. Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful. They are most likely to say something along the lines of, "Good God, you can't possibly be flying!" It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right. Waft higher and higher. Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly. Do not wave at anybody. When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of distraction rapidly becomes easier and easier to achieve. You will then learn all sorts of things about how to control your flight, your speed, your maneuverability, and the trick usually lies in not thinking too hard about whatever you want to do, but just allowing it to happen as if it was going to anyway. You will also learn how to land properly, which is something you will almost certainly cock up, and cock up badly, on your first attempt. There are private flying clubs you can join which help you achieve the all-important moment of distraction. They hire people with surprising bodies or opinions to leap out from behind bushes and exhibit and/or explain them at the crucial moments. Few genuine hitch-hikers will be able to afford to join these clubs, but some may be able to get temporary employment at them. ---Douglas Adams
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Zymeth
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Hahaha! *snort* That's exactly like watching a part of that movie again! Only without the pictures or the voice or the actors...
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Demecas
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they forgot one crucial factor. make sure your not throwing yourself at a tree bush or other all object that are sticking out of the ground as you most likely will run smack dab into then once you start to finally fly and some time when you just fail miserably.
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BlackBlade
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I don't think that was in the movie...... that event doesn't happen until much, much, much later
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Zymeth
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I said it was just like watching a part of that movie, I know that wasn't in the movie.
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BlackBlade
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Oh miss read... I can understand D's long-over-worded posts but I can't understand a simple short one.
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Zymeth
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nope
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Demecas
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yep I am so bad at that aren't I.
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Zymeth
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yep
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Durandal
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I fail to comprehend the source of this compilation of rigorous expectations established concerning the quality of my literary productions...
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Demecas
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-pulls out the """""""SPOON"""""".
Is that complaining I hear Durandal????????
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Durandal
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To complain: to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault.
Stating that I have failed a knowledge (peer pressure) roll is not tantamount to expressing my distaste for my state of affairs. The conclusion could be drawn based on my syntax and ironic diction, but any supposed complained remains just that; a perception created in your mind and overlaid onto my words.
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Zymeth
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Me no understand yez wordsies... Spoon time go!?
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Demecas
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-starts to swing her spoon a him only to stop just before hitting him.-
Humm I wonder
-pulls a conection cord out of her neck and attaches it to durandals.-
I think he may be malfunctioning again. sheesh going to have to kill one of the gremlins. they are suppouse to keep him up and running that was the dea.
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Durandal
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They're called S'pht, and I don't appreciate people sticking me with unsolicited cords.
Solicited cords... well, that's another story. 
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BlackBlade
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Has anyone read "Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel" by Scott Adams? Well anyway it's a proven fact that the human mind shuts down after the fourth buzzword in a row. I think that's what happening to you people.
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Demecas
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ok then i guess kicking the computer is the only other way.
-she smacked him so hard with the spoon that when he finnaly stoped flying in the air he was back in the spot he started from.-
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Durandal
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Bah.
*waves dismissively*
'Twas but a hologram.
And yeah, Kevin. I'm definitely using that fact to my advantage. 
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Zymeth
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What? Noone worries about me!? erm... nevermind. ^_^
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BlackBlade
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Have you considered a career in business management? Cause you'd be perfect for it.
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