Okay, so I decided to procrastinate a bit more by checking my email. I found this inside:
Quote:
Re INVESTMENT ASSISTANCE FOR GAS/OIL FUNDS
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am a member of the "Contract Award Committee", Federal Ministry of Petroleum Resources,Nigeria.
We are in search of an agent who will assist us in the transfer of thirty-one Million US Dollars(US$31m) and subsequent investment of same in lucrative ventures in your country.
You will be required to.
1) Assist in the transfer of the said sum
2) Advise on lucrative area(s) of investment, and
3) Assist in the management of same investments.
Could you be kindenough to render your services to us in this regard,you shall be rewarded with 15% of the total sum stated above while 10% of the investments dividents shall be paid to you annually.
Kindly indicate your interested by sending an email to me so that I can give you the modalities.
Yours faithfully,
A.Dan Okocha
Here's my reply (which I actually did send):
Quote:
Oh yes! Please do send the 'modalities,' for I am a stupid American who can not engage enough brain cells to recognize a ridiculous scam! Your letter is laughably pathetic, and you won't ever get people's bank information that way. I hope you come from a pitiful third-world nation, because I laugh at your stupidity! I recline in my TempurPedic bed as I type this message to you on my wireless keyboard! My cunning wit is spelled out across 37 inches of luxurious high-definition LCD television! Should I realize that a victory of this magnitude for good ol' capitalism requires triumphant music to carry the mood all the way to my hardwood floors, I can turn on my DVD player and select one of several thousands mp4's to enjoy via the amazing 7.1 surround sound!
Man, you third-worlders don't know what your missing out on. You haven't heard that fat guy sing the Numa Numa song until you've heard it on 7.1. Trust me, I know.
So, good luck with your scam. Actually, worst of luck in the entire universe on your scam. I hope your computer (which I bet is a Mac!) blows up in your face, and you get a splinter of glass between your teeth which no amount of flossing with camel hair can remove! May your mud housing fall down with the next big tsunami, because I won't be sending you any money. You see, my rich American lifestyle doesn't afford for drowning kids in... your country.
I wish I could finish this with some kind of happy note... But I can't
You suck.
Uh... yeah. Now I'm having second thoughts about the wisdom of sending that off. Of course, second thoughts would imply I even had first ones.
Right, back to that essay. (and it's 4:33!)
Zymeth
You said what you had to say. If you didn't go with your 1st instinct, then all that thought would be lost. (I mean that literally too, if the power goes out and I loose all my data I can't re-make it no matter how hard I try)
Besides, it's not like they know where you live, right?... right!?...
Durandal
Now though I can see that I shouldn't have sent that reply. Even though the arrogance was in jest, it was pretty bad. At least I now remember why I thought of this idea in the first place. I saw a news story about how computer techs in Pakistan used scams like this to cheat Americans out of millions of dollars a year. It has something to do with the American mindframe of taking greater risks to earn rewards than the people of other cultures would.
That's the last time I read my emails while tired...
