The Things I Never Want To Deal With At Work Again
The following is the funny and/or stupid things that I have dealt with at work, For those of you know I'm an Automotive repair Tech. All of these are 99% true, names have been changed.
1) This is the saddest and funniest one so far: This is the call I made to a women about why her transmission or coolant system is leaking.
10:30ish am EST 1/17/07:
Me: Mrs. Smith it's Kevin, from British American Auto Care, I'm calling to let you know what's wrong with your car.
MS: That was quicker than I expected. So what's wrong?
Me: First I have to ask you a question.
MS: Okay.
Me: Are you or any of your neighbors missing a cat?
MS: I don't know.............. I have a brown cat. I haven't seen him in a while, he likes to hide when people are around.
Me: Mrs. Smith I don't know how to tell you this but.... The red stuff leaking out of your car wasn't trans fluid or coolant. It was blood from a cat.
MS:.............................................................
Me: It looks like the cat crawled into the engine compartment. And the next time you started the car it got caught in the belts.......and....umm.... died.
MS:........................................
Me: I'm sorry for your lost we will clean the car and not charge you for anything plus give you a free oil change.
MS: Thank...*sob*.....You.
Me: No problem Mrs. Smith.
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2) This one is strange and happened last week.
3:30 pm EST 4/25/07
Me: Hello Mr. Jones
JO: Hey Kevin I got your message (that you found what's wrong with the car)
Me: Yes, It looks like the gas tank was topped up with ten gallons of MILK.
JO: ........What?!!!!!........Milk?!!!
Me: Yes sir, Milk the heat from the engine has turned it into a crud like state. And clogged your fuel lines, injectors, throttle body, and other parts of the fuel system.
JO: But.... is that even............ how would that happen?
Me: Have you been to any dairy farms lately?
JO: No I don't think I................... Wait my wife's brother owns one. She just camme back from there. She must've fill the tank up there 'cause I know he has some gas pumps there.
Me: Well it looks like she fill it up with milk. So what do you want us to do, replace everything? Or just where we are?
JO: Go ahead and fix it.
Me: Thank you Mr. Jones, you have a nice day.
*Click*
Me: Ha, imagine that, a cheese powered car.
BlackBlade
Here's one from today some people just don't get it:
A lady comes complaining that there's a noise coming from right rear of the car for the past few days. I Ask her what spot she parked in and she tells spot nine. Spot nine is right in front of the window to my left, I look out it. And almost burst of laughing. I look at her and with the straightest possible face I calmly tell her "Mama, Your going to need two new tires and a new rim." She replies "Why?" At this point major organs are shutting down from not being able to laugh. "Umm.... well your right rear wheel doesn't have a tire on it. You been riding on the rim for awhile." She replies "Oh is that bad?" At this point I'm a minute from dieing do to internal bleeding. "I think only the rim is damaged but at look at to see if there anything else wrong she thanks me and walks to the bus stop. By now the other tech know we burst out laughing and can't stop for a good 20 mins.
ginpu
Wow... what state is this? I need to remember to avoid it.
BlackBlade
Maryland, near Baltimore
ginpu
note to self... do not move to the outskirts of Baltimore. Though I must say Baltimore itself is rather interesting. I stayed at the Hilton over looking the harbor. Such a nice view.
Demecas
Was working behind the counter at my first job. I was closest to the register when this lovely brunette walked in.
Me. Can i help you ma'am?
Customer. Can I make an order to go here?
Me. Yes you can. So what would you like?
Customer. I don't know what do you have?
Me. well we have anything on this list.
Customer. Humm ok I'll take 20 hamburgers, no cheese, extra tomato.
Me. Umm. (I looked at the menu. twice over) I'm sorry ma'am we don't have that here.
Customer. I want hamburgers what kind of a joint is this.
Ok another good one but it's a story that I heard.
The phone rings.
Sec: Yes this is the ***** squadron how can I help you.
Woman on the phone: Yes I'm looking for Airman Jessica Smith.
Sec: Humm looks like she's out with squadron right now. If this is urgent I can try to get in contact with them.
Woman on the phone: Please do I'm watching her child right now and I need to have her come pick him up.
Sec: Ok and can I ask who this is?
Woman on the phone: Yes, this is her stepmother her father’s wife.
Sec: Well can I ask if there is an emergency or can this wait?
Woman on the phone: Well I have a plain to catch and I can't watch my husband and her kid any more.
BlackBlade
Here is a pic of it.
Durandal
Wow, just wow. How could you not know that is bad?
You should really take advantage of this opportunity. Tell her you fixed a bunch of other things that could have killed her and then charge her an arm and a leg. She probably isn't using them for a good cause anyway...
